Teddy Was a toy that belonging to Audrey Elmer that came alive because of a wishing well. She wanted a teddy which was "big, real and talked, but now he's sad all the time, not ouch-sad, but ouch-in-the-head-sad, says weird stuff and smells like the bus." He is addicted to pornography and alcohol. He is suicidal and he has even shot himself, but failed to kill himself. He is appalled at the fact there is violence in the world that he calls 'crap.' He even questions his existence and cries when he realizes that there isn't more to him being alive for nothing other than 'tea parties.' After Wesley Mondale took out his coin from the wishing well, Audrey is seen with a smaller teddy bear with some stuffing coming out of the back of its neck.